Wait.

So I have this poem. I have no idea where I got it or how long I've had it but I was looking back at my journal and I found this and I thought it so perfectly describes what I'm going through right now with my ongoing struggle with CFS and trying to get back to normal health and life. Its kinda long but I think its worth sharing. I pray that I actually believe every word, not just on the surface but deep down in my heart. Here it goes:


Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
and the Master so gently said "Child you must wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked and am claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I can relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a yes, a go ahead sign,
or even a no to which I can resign.

And Lord you promised that if we believe
we need but to ask and we shall recieve.
And Lord I've been asking and this is my cry:
I'm wearing of asking! I need a reply!"

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
and grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting... for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and his eyes wept with mine
and He tenderly said "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

All you seek I could give and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want - but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence were all you could see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love
as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
You'd know that I give and I save, for a start.
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart,

the glow of My comfort late into the late,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight,
the depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
of an Infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee
what it means that "my grace is sufficient for Thee".
Yes your dreams for an answer overnight would come true
But, oh, the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So be silent my Child, and in time you will see
That the greatest gift is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may my answers seem terriby late
my most precious answer of all is still WAIT."