Lots of people have been asking me, "what exactly is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome?". It's hard to describe in one sentence so I found this video that would help my friends and family understand. It would mean a lot of me if you would watch it. I really want more people to understand what this illness is all about. It is kinda long but the first half has the most important information. Please watch:
May 20, 2010
May 14, 2010
Come Together Now for Haiti
So I was looking up the winners of the GMA Dove awards - Christian music awards - that happened in April and I came across this song.
This song was written by Michael W Smith and he gathered together Christian music artists to sing this song to remind everyone of the need for the people in Haiti following the earthquake. The artists included Steven Curtis Chapman, Casting Crowns, Mandisa, TobyMac (and the other DC Talk boys), Margaret Becker, the Newsboys, Nichole C Mullen, the Katinas, Point of Grace, Rachael Lampa, Matthew West and a ton of other artists whose names or faces I dont recognize.
I just thought this was really great and it was actually recorded on January 28th, before the other 2 Haiti songs were recorded: Wavin Flag by young Canadian artists on February 18th, and We Are the World by various artists on February 1st. Those songs are great too, but I like the fact that the Christian artists wanted to contribute and that the website has Samaritian's Purse on it. The video actually gave me goosebumps the first time I watched it. What do you think?
To donate or purchase song: http://www.cometogethernowhaiti.com/
PS: This song is not to be confused by a different song called Come Together Now sung by a different group of artists back in 2006 I think for the Hurricane relief.
May 12, 2010
Wait.
So I have this poem. I have no idea where I got it or how long I've had it but I was looking back at my journal and I found this and I thought it so perfectly describes what I'm going through right now with my ongoing struggle with CFS and trying to get back to normal health and life. Its kinda long but I think its worth sharing. I pray that I actually believe every word, not just on the surface but deep down in my heart. Here it goes:
Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
and the Master so gently said "Child you must wait."
"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked and am claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a yes, a go ahead sign,
or even a no to which I can resign.
And Lord you promised that if we believe
we need but to ask and we shall recieve.
And Lord I've been asking and this is my cry:
I'm wearing of asking! I need a reply!"
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
and grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting... for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and his eyes wept with mine
and He tenderly said "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
All you seek I could give and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want - but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence were all you could see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
You'd know that I give and I save, for a start.
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart,
the glow of My comfort late into the late,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight,
the depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
of an Infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee
what it means that "my grace is sufficient for Thee".
Yes your dreams for an answer overnight would come true
But, oh, the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So be silent my Child, and in time you will see
That the greatest gift is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may my answers seem terriby late
my most precious answer of all is still WAIT."
Desperately, helplessly, longingly I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate,
and the Master so gently said "Child you must wait."
"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked and am claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I can relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to WAIT?
I'm needing a yes, a go ahead sign,
or even a no to which I can resign.
And Lord you promised that if we believe
we need but to ask and we shall recieve.
And Lord I've been asking and this is my cry:
I'm wearing of asking! I need a reply!"
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
as my Master replied once again, "You must wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut
and grumbled to God, "So I'm waiting... for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and his eyes wept with mine
and He tenderly said "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
All you seek I could give and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want - but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through the clouds of despair
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
when darkness and silence were all you could see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
as the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
You'd know that I give and I save, for a start.
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart,
the glow of My comfort late into the late,
the faith that I give when you walk without sight,
the depth that's beyond getting just what you asked
of an Infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee
what it means that "my grace is sufficient for Thee".
Yes your dreams for an answer overnight would come true
But, oh, the loss, if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So be silent my Child, and in time you will see
That the greatest gift is to get to know Me.
And though oft' may my answers seem terriby late
my most precious answer of all is still WAIT."
May 10, 2010
My Nephew
So my mom and I recently drove all the way up to Sudbury for a short visit with my brother and sister in law and their new baby Evan. It was a quick trip (Sunday to Wednesday), and it was pretty exhausting on my body so I slept alot but it was worth it. He is so cute and attentive. When someone is talking to him, he really looks at you like he is trying to understand or wondering what is going on. He must be gonna be really smart! Haha And he doesn't even cry hardly at all. He is very happy just sucking on this thumb/fingers or on his soother. I also got to play on their Wii which was really fun too. I can't wait to go back and see how much Evan changes over time!
May 9, 2010
Life on Hold, for now....
I don't really want to talk about this because I don't want my intentions to be misunderstood, but I think I should just recap for those of you who don't know the whole situation. So if you already know my situation, don't bother reading this.
Right now I'm living at home because I'm suffering from a chronic illness. It all started with getting mono at the end of 2008 and then moving to England in 2009 to work with a Christian missionary organization. I was thoroughly enjoying my job serving the Lord in England but I was still suffering from the virus. The virus finally cleared up in May but then my symptoms actually got way worse. I finally decided to come home last September beause my health was so bad that I could barely work and I knew that I needed to get better. After lots of testing in England before I left and then again in Canada, the doctors concluded that I either have Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The difference (I think) is that CFS I'll always have, altho with different intensities, but Post Viral will go away once my body can recover from the insane viral infection that destroyed my immune system. This can take years apparently.
So right now I continue to see doctors and specialists (and I'm doing lots of research on my own) who are helping me to figure out how to recover from this illness or how to live with and manage this illness indefinitely. So that's the scoop.
Right now I'm living at home because I'm suffering from a chronic illness. It all started with getting mono at the end of 2008 and then moving to England in 2009 to work with a Christian missionary organization. I was thoroughly enjoying my job serving the Lord in England but I was still suffering from the virus. The virus finally cleared up in May but then my symptoms actually got way worse. I finally decided to come home last September beause my health was so bad that I could barely work and I knew that I needed to get better. After lots of testing in England before I left and then again in Canada, the doctors concluded that I either have Post Viral Fatigue Syndrome or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. The difference (I think) is that CFS I'll always have, altho with different intensities, but Post Viral will go away once my body can recover from the insane viral infection that destroyed my immune system. This can take years apparently.
So right now I continue to see doctors and specialists (and I'm doing lots of research on my own) who are helping me to figure out how to recover from this illness or how to live with and manage this illness indefinitely. So that's the scoop.
May 8, 2010
My Blog!
So this is my first post on my new blog. Since my life is in kind of a weird place right now, I'm going to use this blog to discuss stuff going on with my life - about my illness, about what God is teaching me during all this, maybe a little about my family, and maybe some random stuff from time to time. Be sure to check back now and again. Thanks for reading!
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