Book Review: Coping with Chronic Illness

I finished reading this book a while ago (Coping with Chronic Illness by H Norman Wright and Lynn Ellis) but I took notes as I was reading, and this morning I went back and reviewed them. I’ve decided to share some of the great things I’ve learned with you.

I am NOT my Fibromyalgia. I am NOT my chronic fatigue syndrome. I am a person not an illness. I’m not just my aching muscles or hurting joints. I am more than this. I am more than my body. I am a choice person, a child of the King. I am loved just as I am. I know that my true identity is not found in my body or in my accomplishments in this world; I am not just my flesh and bones. I am a child of God and God adores me. It is with this realization in mind that I have learned to cope with the worldly losses that come with these illnesses. These losses are a crucial upset in my life. But is it the end of my life? NO. These diagnoses are not a death sentence. They are an invitation to rebuild my life in a new and meaningful way; to develop a new normal. I can still have a rich and fulfilling life. Grief has been my companion and has taught me a lot but I can use it now to grow into a stronger person than I was before my losses, and now I can be used by God in a way that I could not before.

There are 3 important steps that I need to take for learning to live with these illnesses:

1. First, I need to learn to accept my limitations so that I can move on. I need to let go of my unrealistic expectations. I need to learn phrases like “I would like to, but today I can’t”, “I used to be able to participate, but now I’m an observer”. See a part of me is searching for the old me and part of me is struggling with cutting my losses and getting on with it – although it would certainly help if I knew what “it” was going to be. But I have to learn to accept this uncertainly in my life. Dwelling on the uncertainty takes an incredible amount of energy, which drains my already limited physical energy. Add that with self doubt as I worry about what others think when they look at me like I’m just lazy and it’s a recipe for disaster. I have to believe myself. I know my body. I know myself. My symptoms are real no matter what others think and I don’t need their validation. I may not have control over my illness but I do have control over what I think and I won’t let others have control over me. Which leads me to point number two.

2. I need to rebuild my thought life. Attitude is key and I need to remember to focus on the cans and not the can’ts; focus on what I know and not on what I don’t know. Remember that I do have control over this part of my life and I will not be slave to negative thoughts or self pity. Focus on the positive, be optimistic and rebuild the hope for a great future. Surrounding myself with good positive people will be a great help for this.

3. The last point is to find something I am passionate about that I am still able to do. This is still something I am working on. I can’t be physically active a lot, and I can’t be out and about often either, but as I learn to manage my illness, I hopefully won’t need to sleep all the time, so I need to find something positive to fill the quiet evenings in my life. This is still something I am praying about.


I hope I am able to help at least one person out there who is reading this.

If nothing else, just remember this one line that stood out to me from the book: “Give yourself permission not to know what, not to know how, and not to know when. God is holding you and He knows the direction of your drift.”