Fibromyalgia Program

I wanted to make a quick comment that the Fibromyalgia Program at St.Joseph's Hospital was very worthwhile. I would highly recommend it to anyone who has Fibromyalgia.

"There is a difference between pain and suffering. Pain is in the body, but suffering is in the mind."

1 Year!

This is just a really quick post to say that today is officially my one year anniversary of being back to work after my health crisis. Praise the Lord! I made it 1 year!

Look how far I've come... long way to go still but I need to remember to focus on the progress and be thankful for that! God gets all the glory, that's for sure!

"Is It All In Your Head?" NO!

There was an interesting article in the latest Reader's Digest about the 5 most understood illnesses in Canada called "Is It All In Your Head?". Number 1 was Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and number 2 was Fibromyalgia. So I wanted to give you a little summary of the article to give you a glimpse of the frustrating reality of over 300,000 lives in Canada, including mine.

1. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
It begins by recapping a person's story and I loved how she expressed the extreme fatigue and pain she experienced; she described saying, "walking from the bedroom to the kitchen felt like walking across the Sahara". She was quickly diagnosed with CFS but her doctor had no idea how to help her. She remembers "My doctor basically said 'I can't help you.'" (I've heard that from more than 1 doctor as well.) The article continues by providing general info about CFS explaining how patients are often sent to psychiatrists because physicians don't know what to do with them. Patients still also "face physicians who are not well-informed about the debilitating nature of their illness" and simply think it's too "time consuming and difficult to treat and diagnose." (I was blessed with a very caring doctor in Windsor, and very knowledgeable doctors while in England.)

2. Fibromyalgia
The article describes how "the mainstream medical community is at odds over whether Fibromyalgia is an actual condition. Sufferers usually appear perfectly healthy when examined because there are no laboratory tests to support or discredit symptom testimony." This results in doctors, again, sending their patients to psychiatrists. "When doctor's don't understand a condition, they always make this leap to the head." The problem continues with drug companies that "engage in the most egregious type of marketing and disease-mongering". The medical test that is now widely accepted is the "tender points test" (which was how I was diagnosed) but this again relies on the patient's testimony and results in grave misdiagnosis, unfortunately resulting in the real sufferers (like myself) being lumped into the wrong category. Because there is generally no consensus, patients are often left to come to their own conclusions and figure out how to treat their illness on their own. One patients says "I think it's sad that after all these years, we have to jump through hoops to prove ourselves". (Trust me, I understand...)

God Thing!

So I've been having a rough time lately. My health has been bad - my illnesses acting up. And it is probably because I've been pretty stressed out at work - we had some pretty major software problems, then trying to get caught up after it was back, some really tight deadlines with the delay and now working on year end stuff. Its been hard mentally and its been hard on my body as well. This past week especially. I've been crashing as soon as I get home, and I still get SO exhausted during the day. Unfortunately I've also had a lot of pain, specifically in my knees.

But I'm clinging to the Lord. This is probably the busiest time of year at work, so this will pass. And this health slump will also pass. Its just a stage of life I have to deal with and it will be okay.

On the positive side, God did a fun thing in my life this past week. As most of you already know, I've been trying so hard to figure out what church to settle into and find a young adults group to attend. Well, I went to this one group starting last week, and I've started to connect with this female, approximately my age-- and while we were talking, we found out that we both have the same type of illness! What an incredible God thing that is!! Honestly the chances of that happening are crazy. Amazing!

So Long! Time for an Update....

Wow, its been a long time since I've posted. So it's time to get all caught up...

December was a crazy month, emotions all over the place again, not getting enough sleep, realizing that I need to take better care of myself or my health is gonna go backwards, and that my priorities need to change.

So now its Christmas time and our family was all getting together at my parent's house again in Windsor - something we've all been looking forward to for months. Unfortunately, this Christmas was too similar to last Christmas with the fact that most of us were sick AGAIN. Last year it was the stomach flu, this year it was a fever with chills and a bad cold. What is this, a new tradition for us! Anyway, regardless, this Christmas was extra special cause it was Evan's first Christmas! We all enjoyed him even though he was really sick too. I didn't get to hold him and play with him much as I was trying really hard NOT to get sick. Averil was thoughtful and bought me a HUGE bottle of hand sanitizer which I used constantly over the holidays. Here's a picture from Christmas morning of Mark with Evan and me with my Chewie.Here's another picture of me and Chewie resting on the kitchen floor together. I love Chewie so much, I cherished the time I got to spend with her and I spoiled her with presents hehe And another picture from Christmas day of cutie Evan with his awesome new ride on Dump Truck from Grandma and Grandpa, with Chewie, me and Grandpa (Dad) in the background:

After Christmas was finished, us kids all headed back to our homes and I had to work 3 days before new years. Honestly it was kinda sad coming back to lonely London after having time with the whole family, but such is life. New Years was pretty good hanging out with some friend's ringing in the new year.

So now its January 2011. This is the time when I was just suppose to be returning from missions in England; hard to believe how life turned out to be so different than was planned. But I do know that God has brought me here to London to serve Him and it's definitely time to put England and my OM experience behind me in the past where it belongs.

I've set a couple goals for this coming year. I want to spend more time in the Word of God, growing closer to Him-I'm starting out by reading one Psalm a day, and studying through the book of Galatians. Next, I need to spend more time taking better care of myself: cooking more, eating healthier, taking the time I need quietly at home to regain my strength, getting more sleep etc. This year I've got to get my mind and my body on a healthy track so I can move forward with greater things in the future.

This winter I've taken on the project of making my apartment more like home - I'm reorganizing, re-setting up and redecorating my place so its a more homey atmosphere to be in. I think this will help me with getting my mind and body strong and healthy.

Let me leave you with these verses I read last night from Psalm 90:

Teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Return, O LORD, how long? Have pity on your servants! Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil. Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children. Let the favour of the Lord our God be upon us and establish the work of our hands upon us-yes, establish the work of our hands!

"As the Clay" Explained...

I'm reading this book called "Why? Trusting God When You Don't Understand" by Anne Graham Lotz. There's a passage in the very first chapter that really struck me, and it explains exactly where I was coming from when I titled this blog "As the Clay" and wrote the little tag line to go with it. Here it is:

"The principle that suffering leads to glory is illustrated in Scripture by a vivid description of clay on the Potter's wheel - clay that was once cracked, shattered, and broken, clay that was totally useless and ugly. The Potter took the clay and broke it down even further, grinding it into dust, then moistening it with water before He put it on His wheel and began to remake it into a vessel pleasing to Himself. The cracks and chips and broken pieces disappeared as the clay became soft and pliable to the Potter's touch. He firmly applied pressure on some areas, touched lightly on other areas, added more clay to a specific spot that needed filling, and removed clay that hindered the shape that would make it useful for His ultimate purpose. As He turned the wheel, His loving gentle hands never left the clay as He molded and made it after His will.
Finally, the Potter finished remolding the clay and took it off the wheel. Under His skilled, gentle hands, the once-ugly clay had been transformed into a vessel that had shape and purpose. He added colour, carefully painting on a unique design. But the clay was still soft and weak, the colour dull and drab. So the Potter placed the vessel into the fiery kiln, carefully keeping His eye on it as He submitted it to the raging heat. At a time He alone determined was sufficient, the Potter withdrew the pot from the furnace. The blazing heat had radically transformed the clay into a vessel of strength and glorious multi-coloured beauty. Then the Potter put it in His showcase so that others might see the revelation of His glory in the work of His hands.
The spiritual principle is that in some way God uses suffering to transform ordinary, dust-clay people into vessels that are strong in faith, vessels that are fit for His use, vessels that display His glory to the watching world."

Book Review: Coping with Chronic Illness

I finished reading this book a while ago (Coping with Chronic Illness by H Norman Wright and Lynn Ellis) but I took notes as I was reading, and this morning I went back and reviewed them. I’ve decided to share some of the great things I’ve learned with you.

I am NOT my Fibromyalgia. I am NOT my chronic fatigue syndrome. I am a person not an illness. I’m not just my aching muscles or hurting joints. I am more than this. I am more than my body. I am a choice person, a child of the King. I am loved just as I am. I know that my true identity is not found in my body or in my accomplishments in this world; I am not just my flesh and bones. I am a child of God and God adores me. It is with this realization in mind that I have learned to cope with the worldly losses that come with these illnesses. These losses are a crucial upset in my life. But is it the end of my life? NO. These diagnoses are not a death sentence. They are an invitation to rebuild my life in a new and meaningful way; to develop a new normal. I can still have a rich and fulfilling life. Grief has been my companion and has taught me a lot but I can use it now to grow into a stronger person than I was before my losses, and now I can be used by God in a way that I could not before.

There are 3 important steps that I need to take for learning to live with these illnesses:

1. First, I need to learn to accept my limitations so that I can move on. I need to let go of my unrealistic expectations. I need to learn phrases like “I would like to, but today I can’t”, “I used to be able to participate, but now I’m an observer”. See a part of me is searching for the old me and part of me is struggling with cutting my losses and getting on with it – although it would certainly help if I knew what “it” was going to be. But I have to learn to accept this uncertainly in my life. Dwelling on the uncertainty takes an incredible amount of energy, which drains my already limited physical energy. Add that with self doubt as I worry about what others think when they look at me like I’m just lazy and it’s a recipe for disaster. I have to believe myself. I know my body. I know myself. My symptoms are real no matter what others think and I don’t need their validation. I may not have control over my illness but I do have control over what I think and I won’t let others have control over me. Which leads me to point number two.

2. I need to rebuild my thought life. Attitude is key and I need to remember to focus on the cans and not the can’ts; focus on what I know and not on what I don’t know. Remember that I do have control over this part of my life and I will not be slave to negative thoughts or self pity. Focus on the positive, be optimistic and rebuild the hope for a great future. Surrounding myself with good positive people will be a great help for this.

3. The last point is to find something I am passionate about that I am still able to do. This is still something I am working on. I can’t be physically active a lot, and I can’t be out and about often either, but as I learn to manage my illness, I hopefully won’t need to sleep all the time, so I need to find something positive to fill the quiet evenings in my life. This is still something I am praying about.


I hope I am able to help at least one person out there who is reading this.

If nothing else, just remember this one line that stood out to me from the book: “Give yourself permission not to know what, not to know how, and not to know when. God is holding you and He knows the direction of your drift.”

Chronic Illness and The Bible

Given the circumstances of my life, this is something I’ve been doing some reading into and research on and I’d like to share what I’ve found.

In Luke 8 and Mark 5 there is s story about a woman with a chronic illness:
"And a woman was there who had a haemorrhage for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, "If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed." Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering."

The Bible talks a lot about suffering, but what about physical pain?

Jeremiah 10:19 My wound is severe, and my grief is great. My sickness is incurable, but I must bear it.
Jeremiah 15:18 Why is my pain unceasing, my wound incurable, refusing to be healed?

These questions are normal because even David, a man after God’s own heart, asked these questions:

Psalm 13:1-3 How long O Lord, will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O lord my God. Give light to me eyes, or I will sleep in the death.

Why does pain have to exist in our lives? Here are 10 reasons found in the Bible:
1. Silences and refutes Satan (Job 1-2)
2. Gives God an opportunity to be glorified (John 11:4)
3. Can make us more like Christ (Phil 3:10, Heb 2:10-11)
4. Can make us more appreciative (Romans 8:28)
5. Teaches us to depend on God (Exodus 14:11-12, Isaiah 40:28-31)
6. Enables us to exercise our faith (Job 23:10, Romans 8:24-25)
7. Teaches us patience (Romans 5:3, James 1:2-3)
8. Can make us sympathetic (2 Cor 1:3-6)
9. Can make and keeps us humble (2 Cor 12:7-10)
10.Brings rewards (2 Tim 2:12, 1 Peter 4:12-14)


Dear Lord,
I don’t like this illness, but by faith, I rejoice that You are up to something good in my life. In this sadness I pray that I discover a new aspect of Your character, and reach a new understanding of You that I could not have known without this loss in my life. I know You are acquainted with grief, and so You understand. I know You are present, and there is never a moment that You aren’t walking with me. You have not abandoned me. And although You don’t always explain why we go through these things, it doesn’t mean You don’t care. You are the center of all things, and that means you must be the center of this suffering. Through this, help me become more like You. Stay close with me.
Love, Rebecca

Life is Not Always Easy

Unfortunately, life is not always easy. As I sit here typing this, I'm aching and hurting all over. I played in the baseball tournament yesterday and I have come to realize there are limits to what I can do. I knew this in my head but now my body knows this. If you read my June post called "Dear Body of Mine", I'm having to accept it all over again. I pray that God will give me peace as I trust Him, remember to be thankful for what I can do, focus on the positives in my life and give all the glory to Him for me being well enough to serve Him at Teen Challenge.

Isaiah 43: 1-3
I have called you by name Rebecca, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you-when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, and the flame will not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy one of Isreal, your Saviour.

2 Corinthians 12:8-10
Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in these weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest on me. For the sake of Christ then, I am content with this weakness. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


I have said these things to you, that in me you have peace. In the world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)

Shout Unto God!!!

The enemy has been defeated and death couldn't hold you down.
We're gonna lift our voice in victory, we're gonna make your praises loud.
Shout unto God with a voice of triumph, shout unto God with a voice of praise.
Shout unto God with a voice of triumph, we lift your name up, we lift your name up!


What a great song.

Its been 1 year today since I returned from England, so so ill.

Its been a very long and very tough year, but here I am. And I am so thankful to God for bringing me this far. All praise goes to Him, and to Him alone. *big smile*

Baseball!

I played baseball this week for the first time since I became ill in December 2008!!

It felt SO good to get back out there and play. I was mentally preparing myself for the aftermath of playing - the pain and aches and everything that comes with CFS. BUT nothing came. Nothing happened. I felt fine. I didn't have any swelling or redness, or joint pain or muscle aches or weakness. I couldn't believe it!

I can't believe how far God has brought me over the past 2 months. It's unbelievable! It's a miracle, really. So hard to believe that at one point I had to give up the hope of every playing again, and now here I am! I am so so thankful.

What A Miracle

Well, I still feel like this is all so amazing. I can't believe that I'm here living and working. Man, am I happy. Sometimes I get a little lonely in my apartment, but then I just remind myself where I am and what I'm doing and then I remember how incredibly thankful I am to be here.

I did have one bad day this week. Wednesday I woke up with aches all over my body, something I haven't experienced in weeks. Everything hurt and it was so much work to simply lift up my arm. I went in to work anyway and Jason, the person who is training me, was very gracious and let me do some easy tasks that day because I told him I wasn't feeling well. After work I tried to go and get my B12 shot at a walk in clinic (I of course don't have a doctor here in London) but the ones close to my place all closed at 3 on Wednesday, so I just went home. I called my parents and told them and asked them to pray as I was so scared this would be the beginning of a downward spiral again. And then I went right to bed.

Thursday I woke up and it was all gone.

And I know its because of all my family and friends praying for me. I know my parents called some family that night and asked them to be praying. I dont understand what caused the bad day, I can't figure it out, but I know that God took it away, and it just reminded me of how thankful I am to be here. So even when I get lonely, I'm going to hang onto the truth that I am sure of - that God is with me and He has brought me here, and so there's no better place to be.


Our God is greater
Our God is stronger
God you are higher than any other
Our God is Healer
Awesome in power
Our God, Our God

-Chris Tomlin, Our God

My First Week Back to Work:

I want to thank everybody for your prayers for me this past week. My first week at work went pretty well, lots to learn but thats always the case with a new job. Honestly, it feels really good to be back serving the Lord. Sometimes I can hardly believe I am actually here working full time after how my health was only a few short months ago.

The only real frustration of the week is my energy level. I manage to get thru the work day but unfortunately I am very very tired by the end of the day and I do absolutely nothing after work except eat, rest and sleep. And on Friday, I was really dragging. I was expecting this so it isn't a surprise. I am hoping it will get better as my body adjusts to a regular work schedule, and hopefully in time I will be able to have some energy outside of work.

Thanks again for all your prayers. They are sustaining me.

Trusting the Lord with more than Tomorrow

So tomorrow is the big day; my first day back at work since my year off dealing with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This is a big step, and that probly only makes sense to those who have had similar experiences. Its scary, so I decided I wanted to share some Bible verses that have really been helping me as I trust the Lord with my health and my future.

Prov 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

Joshua 1:9
Have I not commanded you, be strong and courageous. Do not terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Isaiah 41:10
Do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield, in Him my heart trusts and I am helped.

Jer 29:11
I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, plans to give you a future and a hope.

Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Romans 8:28
And we know all things work together for good, for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.

Matthew 11:28
Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.

I've Moved!

Well, well, after months and months of recovering and dealing with life with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I am heading back to work. God has opened the door for me to serve Him here in Ontario at a Christian ministry as the senior bookkeeper. I moved into my new apartment on Thursday, and am starting work on Tuesday. I would really appreciate all of your prayers as I am very nervous and scared to be heading back to work full time. I know I have to take very good care of myself and trust the Lord that my body will be able to handle all that is to come. I am going to miss my family and Chewie, but I do believe this is the right move at this point in time. I'm excited to see what will happen! Here is a picture of my "new" used car!

Yes! Alternative Medicine

Well, I'd just like to share an update regarding these alternative medicine treatments I've been getting. First, I would like to say, I'm not one to jump on board with something unless I know it's for real. I too have wasted money on treatments and natural medicines that didn't work so I understand the skepticism.

I've had 4 treatments at New Life Allergy.

And these treatments work for me.

That's the bottom line.

I have been getting stronger and stronger, and getting more and more energy and less and less symptoms. I can hardly believe it. But I'm gonna shout it out, these treatments have been making a big difference in my life.

I am aware that sometimes a treatment may work for one person and not another, so I can't say with certainty that it would be helpful to you specifically, but I can say with absolute certainty that these treatments are helping me live with and cope with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Yay!

Alternative Medicine?

Does anyone have an success stories regarding alternative medicine, natural medicine or Chinese medicine?

Because of my ongoing health struggles, I decided to go to this place called New Life Allergy. I had seen it on tv commercials here in Windsor and they talked about how many health problems stem from an allergy or sensitivity within a body's system to a particular food, nutrient, mineral, vitamin etc. So I decided that since I'm already in the process of eliminating every possible cause of my symptoms, it might be worth ruling out any and all allergies.

I went and got tested for 153 items. It was all computerized testing, which involved holding a probe in 1 hand and a touch of a small probe on 1 finger on the other, one touch for each item. I went back and got my results and this is what she told. She said: I am lactose intolerant, my body is not absorbing nutrients well, my body has a big problem absorbing all B vitamins, I have candida, and I have a virus in my system that is negatively affecting my energy. Now, needless to say, I found this facinating, as it is all true, and she discovered this with the odd probe test she performed.

She SAYS she can help me; that I can have a series of treatments which will clear up all these problems - including my lactose intolerance, which I am very skeptical of. I decided to go ahead and try a few treatments because I figured, I've tried everything else, I might as well try this as well. (Even tho yes, its not cheap.)

The test was weird. I laid on a table on my stomach. She did some tingly, touching or massaging on my back, saying she was opening up my system, and then she proceeded to touch pressure points (she called this acupressure) with a probe which was connected to a metal box containing the items she was testing me for on this treatment. It was over in a matter of a couple minutes. She said I would probly feel extra weird for a day or so, and maaaan was she right. Whatever she did to me, my body felt it! I was awfully weak and dizzy immediately following the treatment, and I felt odd, weird, sore, for the entire day.

Now I don't necessary know if I feel any different this week, but I'm scheduled to go back for 2 more treatments. I dont know about all this. Does this stuff really work?

Sleep Study

This past week I had to attend a 21 hour sleep and nap study at the hospital. It was one of the weirdest experiences I've ever had. Let me tell you about it.

When I first got there, they showed me to my room, told me to get settled and change into my pjs. Then they hooked me up to 21 wires, which didn't include the 2 elastic bands around my torso and chest and a pulse monitor on my finger. I also had to wear a breathing tube across my face and in my nose, which left red marks on my face for 2 days following. They hooked up all the wires on me to the machine by the bed and I settled in for the night. I thought it was for the night, until they starled me over the speaker and begun this series of tests to make sure the monitors were picking up my movements and brain waves?... this included scrunching my toes, swallowing, moving my eyes, and even snorting 5 times in a row. Ya this was all pretty weird.

I tired to get a good night's sleep but inevitably I had to go to the bathroom twice in the night, which meant they had to come unhook me and rehook me up again. I may have had a brief mild 3 am fit of wanting to pull all the wires out so I could move around comfortably. I was then woken up at 6 am and told to get up and get ready for the day. They unhooked 6 wires and left the rest.

The remainder of the day consisted of waiting around for a series of 5 naps, each 2 hours apart - one at 8, 10, 12, 2 and 4. Each nap had the funny series of movement tests before it began, and then I was given 20 minutes to fall asleep or I would be told to get up. I was so exhausted from my condition combined with the horrible night, and yet I was not able to fall asleep during even 1 of the scheduled naps. Maybe the environment was just too weird for me to settle down into.

I'm glad no one was taking pictures of this because I looked a mess. In order to get all the wires hooked up to my face and head, they used some sort of glue? maybe medical glue or something?. Needless to say I had gobs of dried glue all throughout my hair and it took 5 shampoos to get it all out. I have to admit, it was quite an experience; one I am glad is over!

Dear Body of Mine

This is a strange letter. And I feel strange writing this but I need to. You were such a part of my life. I took you for granted, like so many things in life. I didn’t take care of you enough. I wasn’t careful about how I treated you and what I put into you. You use to be able to do so many things; you use to have such natural stamina. You use to be strong and could last through anything. You could do anything. But now, you are weak. You are hurting and aching. You have no stamina and you are not working properly. And all those plans I had for you are gone.

I don’t like admitting this but I need to learn to live with a changed you.

I have to let go. I am letting you go. I’m saying goodbye to the way you use to be, to the things I use to do with you and all the things you did for me. And now I’m going to be thankful for what I have now, what I can still do. I don’t like it but it’s necessary. And when I start to dwell on the way you used to be and all that you could do, I’ll say goodbye again and look with appreciation at what I still have.

Rebecca

God is in Control

This is no time for fear
This is a time for faith and determination
Don't lose the vision here
Carried away by emotion
Hold on to all that you hide in your heart
There is one thing that has always been true
It holds the world together

God is in control
We believe that His children will not be forsaken
God is in control
We will choose to remember and never be shaken
There is no power above or beside Him, we know
God is in control, oh God is in control

History marches on
There is a bottom line drawn across the ages
Culture can make its plan
Oh, but the line never changes
No matter how the deception may fly
There is one thing that has always been true
It will be true forever

God is in control
We believe that His children will not be forsaken
God is in control
We will choose to remember and never be shaken
There is no power above or beside Him, we know
God is in control, oh God is in control

He has never let you down
Why start to worry now?
He is still the Lord of all we see
And He is still the loving Father
Watching over you and me

God is in control
We believe that His children will not be forsaken
God is in control
We will choose to remember and never be shaken
There is no power above or beside Him, we know
God is in control, oh God is in control